How do you eat out a hairy unshaved vagina?


Savanna’s one wild woman – hair like a lioness, body of a goddess. Her brand of sexy is savage, she’s the kind of woman that bites when she kisses and screams when she comes.

I watch her undress. Her thong’s so tiny, I could see her labia. I want nothing else but to kiss that pillowy mound of sex, so I put my lips to her pussy lips. But up close, the vaginal view is quite different: I see pubic hair peeking out of her thong like spider legs crawling beneath the lace. My dick doesn’t care, though. So what if she lets her pubes run wild? It’s part of her savage appeal.

I slip her thong off.

Now, I’ve seen many a vagina, but this one is a straight-up sea urchin – with spiky pubes sticking out in all directions. Hemophiliacs, stay away – you could hemorrhage from the thorns on this untrimmed bush. But, a pussy is a pussy – even if it looks like it’s giving birth to a Furby. So I brave the bushy beaver.

“Hope you don’t mind, I don’t shave,” she says. “If I do, it itches more.” Oh, so having a Sasquatch snatch doesn’t make it itchy? To itch his own, I guess.

Savannah tells me to play with her down there. Sure, if I can find your clit. So I part with my hands the lush forestation of her pubes. She complains that I’m taking too long finding my way downtown. Well, forgive me, it’s a little difficult looking for clit when it’s buried in pubic tumbleweed. Truth is, I took so long because I was searching for pubic lice. See, crabs like dark, hairy environments and Savannah’s bush was prime real estate for crotch crustaceans.

When I find no crabs, I move on to the clit. I pull back the curtains of her pubes – fuck, they crunch when you touch them. Then she pushes my head down to lick her clit. Man, her bush feels like steel wool against my tongue. My tongue was so itchy licking her, I wanted to drink Calamine lotion. So I just licked and licked until rug burn replaced the itch. She says, “Enough or I’ll pee,” so I stop. Then she pulls me in for a kiss.

Hold up, wait a minute. I was just licking her bearded beaver, we can’t possibly kiss! But she pulls me in, and I literally did not have a say because she shuts me up with a tongue lashing – her tongue twisting around mine. Talk about a French kiss with a twist.

Mid-kiss, she pulls away. “What’s that? Open your mouth,” she says. Then she plucks a singular strand from between my teeth. “Oh, just a piece of floss,” she says, throwing it aside. Plot twist, though: I don’t floss. I can’t fit my hand in my mouth, let alone maneuver dental string between my molars. So that thing she yanked from my teeth could have been one thing and one thing only: one of the barb wires she calls her pubic hair.

You know what, I need to get my dick inside her now. My boner dies the more I think I just flossed with pubes. Get my dick in a hot vagina and everything is forgotten. So while she waits for me to rip the condom sachet, she grabs my dick and slaps it on her pussy. But girl, you ain’t slick – I know you’re not just spanking your naughty vag! You’re scratching your hairy hoo-ha with my penis. And damn did that prickly pussy itch like chicken pox. Sure gives a whole new meaning to “Tickle my pickle.”

But you know what, I’m not complaining. At the end of the day, I got pussy – hairy, King Kong cooter type of pussy. Yeah, it itches like crabs, but put a condom on and you won’t feel it pricking your prick. Because guess what, sex with Hairy Scary is still better than your right hand. I’ll take a bearded beaverbush over masturbation any damn day.

Sex rule no. 35:

If a lady expects oral

Maintain pubic hygiene (vaginal)

You don’t have to shave, maybe just trim?

Just keep the pubic shrubbery tamed for him

So his tongue won’t get lost in the pubic forest

And still locate the site of the elusive clitoris.

But guys, if she’s unshaved, don’t be a dick!

Wear a condom so her pubes don’t prick your prick.

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2 thoughts on “How do you eat out a hairy unshaved vagina?

  1. rougedmount says:

    talk about a story that made me am

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