“Bunny” is 19, blonde, energetic and hot. And like a rabbit in heat, Bunny wants to mate every second of the day. We just finished having sex and she’s on me again, demanding Round 2 like I serve second helpings of dick. I’m not a dick buffet, alright? You can’t just have it whenever you want it – because after ejaculation, I’m just out of jizz and no penis can stay hard without it. Bunny didn’t seem to understand that there’s a refractory period after sex when men have to wait out half an hour before we can get it back up. Especially if you’re all jizzed out.
I tell her I need 20 minutes before I’m up and running again. And she counts me down on her iPhone timer, because God forbid my boner’s one minute late to her sex marathon. We’re not all Energizer bunnies, alright? My dick just needs a time-out – put me in the corner, let my dick face the wall, I don’t care, just leave my dick alone for 20 minutes.
Impatient as she is young, just 10 minutes in, Bunny grabs my limp dick and puts it back inside her. Sweet baby Jesus of mercy! I was wincing in pain. I was still raw down there and she’s forcing my flaccid fuckstick in her. Nuh-uh, Bunny. I’m no DQ treat – I don’t serve my dick soft-serve. I never give half-assed fucks, and I’m sure as hell not giving her a half-hard dick, so I pull out of her.
But Bunny kept demanding more sex. She tries to provoke me, goad me into fucking her. She starts talking like some mafia tough guy, sounding like a female Al Pacino, and she says “What, you ran out of jizz?” No shit, my dick’s out of Diesel, my balls are running on empty, so yeah I’m out of jizz. What do you think will get it back up, will power? Deepak Chopra? Divine intervention? What needs intervention is this girl’s libido. Her sex drive is on overdrive.
Bunny kept touching my dick, trying to get me hard again. I kept moving it away from her. I said, “Don’t touch, it’s sensitive. I just came, leave it alone.” She snapped, “Oh, you wanna be alone? Fine!” And Bunny hopped off the bed. I panicked and said, “Wait! I’ll be hard in 10 minutes, ok 5!” But it was too late, Bunny hopped all the way out the door and left me and my soft-serve dick.
Sex Rule # 31
After sex, give the penis some time to recover,
Guys need to refill before we can start all over.
Because it’s still soft and sensitive to touch,
A little tug and pull can be a bit much.
In 20 minutes though, c’mon, hop on my cock,
And again for Round 2, I’ll be hard as a rock.