Guy who woke up to a morning blow job, a funny sex story

An excerpt from “Lessons in Lovemaking: The Novel”  – available on Amazon here.

As I’m laying down some lip service on him, I realize my lips can’t open wide enough to take him all-in. He’s so hung, his manhood looks like a traffic cone, thick and wide at the base.

In the middle of the “job”, as it were, Jacob yelps. Uh oh, what’d I do now? Seems like I’ve hit a little snag— my teeth are literally grating on his penis. So he teaches me a technique for oral sex— slide the lips up and down his length like a stripper on a pole. And do it slowly. Very slowly.

I listen for disapproving hisses, but he’s been quiet. Then I hear him make this groggy sound. Yes! Is he moaning? I look up at Jacob to see him groaning in pleasure, salivating. His eyes are closed, savoring the sensations. Wow, he’s enjoying this so much, he’s drooling like a Doberman.

I move my lips lower on him, then his neck slides down his pillow. What? He’s asleep! Turns out he’s not moaning, he’s snoring. He’s not shutting his eyes in arousal, he’s been sleeping the whole time. I’m blowing him slower than an In Memoriam tribute, he’s fallen asleep.

The next morning, I wake up before he does. I notice him pitching a tent under the sheets. Look it, morning wood! I have myself an early riser, if you know what I mean. The best part of waking up is not Folgers, but fellatio. Never mind sipping a Cup o’ Joe, I got myself a mouthful to blow!

As I’m working his length with my stripper lips going down his pole, Jacob smiles in his sleep. I see he’s not the only one having wet dreams— his member is wet, too. So I tighten my lips even more, but instead of gratitude for the blow job, I get a blow to the jaw. Kapow! Next thing I know, his knee jabs me right in the mouth, sending me flying backward like a scene from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hard-on. 

I feel something in my mouth like loose pebbles. I spit out onto my palm. Phew, they’re just my dental veneer caps. They’ve come undone from the impact of the blow. Then Jacob stirs to consciousness. When he sees me, he screams in horror as if I’m a nightmare come to life.

Jacob asks what happened to my teeth. After I explain, he apologizes, saying it was purely a “knee-jerk” reaction. Oh, there’s a jerk here, alright— and it’s not your knee.

Sex Rule Number 16:

No fellatio in the morning,

Don’t blow him while he’s sleeping.

Wait ‘til he’s awake and conscious, 

Or get knocked out un-conscious.

 

To be continued…

For more Rules of Sex and entertaining sex stories, read “Lessons in Lovemaking” – available on Amazon here.

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5 thoughts on “Guy who woke up to a morning blow job, a funny sex story

  1. jangawol says:

    omg hahaha thats too funny!!

  2. Nero says:

    aw, is this why my wife has never woken me with a blowjob? (despite it being an expressed fantasy of mine?)

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